There's no better feeling than the feeling that you're going home.
I'm feeling younger and vital and able. I came to walk 280km on the Camino Portuguese and I did it! I thought I'd need three weeks, but I did it in two.
I was worried, yet stubborn, as I prepared for this journey. I didn't listen when I heard people say to me that the first time is the hardest and it's ok to stop, and lots of pilgrims do stop, and go back again where they left off. I focused only on my walk and I focused on finishing this one.
I wanted so much to find my rusted parts and long forgotten specialties. Something like this was happening for me and I was feeling very blessed.
More than anything though, I wanted to be in solitude. I told Naj, my husband, that after my mother's womb I've never had the chance to be all by myself. This was my chance. But when my son butted into my Camino, I was so okay with that. I'd not have let anyone else in but him. Abbas, however, he's my heart. He'd be like my umbilical cord in my solitude, nourishing me with his bubbles of life.
I know that doing this walking has awakened the sleeping parts of me. That physically this long distance walking has created a stronger bond with my muscles and bones, that mentally I've gained a strong affection for my self, and spiritually a strong connection with our world.
I know that those at home have not gone through this journey and things have stayed the same. I'm feeling wary of my last few hours before I get on that plane. When I was heading to the mystery and unknown of the Camino, I felt weary of my health letting me down, and I was so tired of being old. Now I'm weary of those stories and patterns. I'm eager about re-entering that sanctity and bringing in my renewal-ness.
I came to be alone, but I found deep love and pure friendships. I found myself admiring others only to learn that they were admiring me. I felt compassion for my fellow pilgrims and also for myself and found compassion come piling back to me from every source. I looked at how much beauty was in my surroundings and I heard them say that I was beautiful. I wanted to hear the Earth and they wanted to listen to me. Sigh! I'd come back for this again but I am now this.
Right now I'm thinking about packing and how little I'm bringing back home. I picked a couple of things from the Camino - picked not bought. And I've thrown away some clothes in albergue dustbins. I've used up medicines and soap. I gave my Vicks to Deborah and that gave me a feeling of great humility.
Looking at what's left, my bag is so much lighter now. I'll never pack more than 7 kilos that my bag weighed when we checked in for our flight here. There's no need for excess to get into any journey's packing. This much was more than enough.
Everything in Portugal is cheaper than Canada. I'd buy the things I need here rather than buy them at home. I'd packed way too many socks and underwear. I did most of the walking in my comfortable slippers. Even though my shoes are light and are proper hiking shoes, they felt too heavy and pinched me. I struggled with them for three days and then used them only one more time where the terrain was hilly. Hey, this rookie Camino pilgrim did not get any blisters!
I started the walk wearing two socks at a time - one pair of pressure socks under merino socks. In 5 days my feet were stronger and I was able to walk in simple thick socks with my slippers. I still needed to rub my feet and legs with Vicks before I wore my socks and also needed my knee brace for my right knee. Many times I felt the urge to walk barefooted, but I didn't want to sabotage my first Camino so I kept my feet protected.
They say walking the Camino is addictive. Yes it is. And I can walk anywhere on this
Earth now, but I'll miss the snoring symphony of the Albergues.
